Monday, March 30, 2009

We are ONE!

Happy Birthday Cameron! Happy Birthday Evan!

We have so much to celebrate today. I can't believe it's been a year. Such a long and tumultuous year. I've never been so elated, excited, terrified in my life as I have been since I found out we were having both of you. To become responsible for your lives, to help develop the kind of people you will become is a weighty thing. Two boys! I can remember my first thought was that the ultrasound technician was going along with Daddy's joke about wanting a television show about us having nine babies at once. "Funny you should joke like that, because here's the other one!" is what she said.

My second thought after the doctor confirmed the diagnosis was, "How do you breast feed two babies at the same time?" and then real panic set in. Wait, two babies? No joke? We sat in the car for an hour in shock after that doctors appointment and the only words your father and I could say were, "Twins. We're having twins." We both called out of work because we were too much in shock. We walked around the mall the whole day in a daze, seeing twins everywhere! All of the sudden everywhere we looked it seemed twins were coming out of the woodwork. For months and months all we could say when we looked at each other was, "Twins?" and all we saw everywhere we went were twins. And even after you were born, even while in the NICU, and even today your father and I still look at each other in amazement that we have you both and how amazing you both are in your own ways. In a million years your father and I would never have thought we'd be lucky enough to have both of you.

I am overcome with emotions so strong it would take down a mountain. It has been a long, wonderful and difficult year for us all and look how big you are now! I look at the pictures of you from the beginning of your lives and marvel at how strong and sweet and lovely you are. You amaze me every day. You have changed my life in beautiful ways that I never would have imagined in my wildest dreams.

Cameron, my oldest, my comedic little ham, my flirt. We had been waiting to name you for almost fourteen years. You look so much like your father, you even have that mischievous glint in your eyes. But you have my ears, and I'm sorry for that. You were caught off guard being brought into this world early and you have made lemonade out of life's lemons. I think this will always be your talent. You crack me up all the time, just like your father. You pose for the camera like a professional. You shock me at how fast you can catch up when you are finally feeling your best. You can finally roll from belly to back no problem, and I suspect if you just had the right incentive you can go from back to belly, and believe me I'm looking for it. I know that you are on the verge of putting yourself in a crawl position and standing up on your own is soon to follow. You are a tiny bit of a mama's boy right now and I love it when you get upset because I leave your sight. I love it when you bend at the hips, requiring me to hold you up so that you can poke at things with just your little pointer finger on the floor. I love that you have one single strand of hair on the top of your head that is longer than any other. I love how you sing your self to sleep in my arms. I love the little open mouth sloppy, drooling vampire kisses you give only to me on my neck. When you grab on to me tight with both your fat little baby hands it makes me feel on top of the world - even when you pinch so hard. I love that you snuggle with me and how you like to bounce in my arms. I love that you are fascinated with the dogs because they, especially Chewie, are very interested in you. You laugh with pure glee when they walk by, yawn, eat, wag their tails and lick your fingers. You have stranger danger but given the right introduction you have everyone wrapped around your little finger as soon as you smile and bat those beautiful blue eyes.

Evan, my youngest, my serious thinker, my surprise baby. You are the extra bonus. My lottery prize. You look more like me and are more serious like me, but I suspect your personality will grow to be more like your fathers, cynical and quick witted with a wicked sense of timing and humor. You are so sweet and super snugly and have wise old eyes that tell me you actually do know the secrets to life. You must because you are here, you were ready to come into this world and are living it up. The doctor said you amazed him, that you were not what he expected because you just kept beating the odds over and over, and he was certain you would be a NICU star. He was so right because you really excelled at all the things you needed to do to come home so quickly. You can do things that your older and bigger brother can't do, like find your pacifier on your own, turn it around the right way and put it in your mouth. And if you can't find the pacifier you can suck your thumb, often both thumbs at the same time. That cracks me up, even at three in the morning when you're sound asleep. You are the first one to figure out the game peek-a-boo. You can finally sit up with your arms propping you up in a tripod position and you have really taken quickly to eating by spoon. You kick like a soccer player or an Olympic swimmer and you do it so much without stopping to rest that I'm certain you will be an athlete. You finally can roll from belly to back and are getting used to using your arms and legs with more force. I love how you can smile and cry at the same time. I love how you observe everything going on in the room and snuggle in close. I love how all your clues that you are sleepy are so easy to read, you always know exactly what you want. I love how you can calm down when I pick you up and whisper in your ear the story Bear Snores On. I love how you shake everything I put in your hand like a rattle using your whole body, and how you learned to clack two toys together so quickly that you shocked even yourself. I love how you reach up and touch my face when I rock you in my arms and how you're quickly learning that my glasses can come off of it. When I rock you to sleep you let out the sweetest little sigh right before you completely fall asleep. And I love how you sleep with your eyes slightly open so that we can't tell if you are actually awake. Once you've made up your mind to like someone you can smile and make them melt to your command.

You both babble and squeal all day long and it's music to my ears, even when you hit piercing notes. You both say "dadadada" and "nie nie nie nie" and blow raspberries with all your might, spitting so hard you have to close your eyes and squeeze your chubby little fists. You love to snuggle for your Granny Cathy and have made her so proud. She has a sixth sense and some how knew there were two of you in my belly because the night we told her we were pregnant she asked if we were sure there weren't two babies. I have no idea how she knew because we didn't even know then. You love to splash in the bath tub and kick more water out of the tub when Granny Cathy is standing close by, soaking me, the floor, the kitchen counter top, the dog, the kitchen window, the bath towel, and Granny. You love to look at each other, smile, giggle and call out to each other and pat, swat at, hit, poke, grab, yank anything you can on each other including but not limited to each others arms, legs, hands, ears, cheeks, lips, eyelashes, hair, clothes, feeding tubes (yikes!) and especially toys. You both are so big now and really keep us all on our toes and we are all waiting anxiously for you both to start crawling and walking any day now. Every day you do something new and show each other how to do new things. You are just the two most amazing little boys ever.

You have a special distinction that you are the very first set of twins on either side of our family ever. You are already each other's best friend. You are the apples of your father's eyes, and you have me so in love that I could not exist, would not be whole, if it were not for the two of you. You have changed our lives for the better. We are looking forward to so many events and adventures in your lives. There are so many things we want to show you and help you to achieve everything you want in your lives. How exciting it all will be!

Your father and I are so proud and honored to be your parents, to have you as our sons. We love you so much! Happy First Birthday.

Mommy & Daddy

p.s. Here are some more pics from your birthday party with your family.



Snuggling with Granny Cathy while watching The Backyardigans!


ivory and jamie said...

Happy birthday boys!! You have come so far and seem to get more handsome every day :)
What a beautiful post Laura, it brought tears to my eyes :)

n. said...

awesome post, really thoughtful and full of love. something your boys will treasure in years to come. happy birthday lil ones!

Kim said...

Happy Birthday! Just adorable little men!

Annie and Jason said...

So now I'm bawling. I read every word shaking my head in agreement.
I can't wait for the day to write my men a letter at age 1. I'm so proud of Cameron and Evan for their progress...they are such awesome little people.

*and for what it's worth - I DO think that what our boys have WILL go away.
Evan reminds me SO much of Jax...even the characteristics you were saying - uncanny.

Valerie said...

Happy Birthday to the best little wonder twins an aunt could ask for!

Laura said...

awww this post was so sweet! :)

3boys4tre said...

Happy Birthday Boys!!! A great post from one proud momma!

Trish said...

ack! I bawled through the whole thing.
What a beautiful tribute!

Happy birthday boys. And congratulations on surviving the first year, L.

Valerie said...

Beautiful post...Happy Birthday boys!

Blue Moon Mama said...

Happy, happy birthday, boys!

Your mama clearly loves you very, very much!

I remember when I returned to work after T was born, and it was such a hard day. I missed him so much. One of the other moms commented that having a baby is like falling in love. And it really is! So intense.

Anyway, hope the boys enjoyed it.


Jenny, Ray, T and Ju Ju

Jennifer said...

Happy Birthday, boys!

Lindsay Pierson said...

Happy first birthday! What a sweet story!

Annie said...

Wonderful post! Happy birthday Cameron! Happy birthday Evan! I'm so proud of you guys!!!

K. said...

Laura, wonderful post to your boys. They are so lucky to have you as their Mamma. And Happy Birthday to 2 very special little guys. It's been quite a year for all of you and I know it's been an emotional few days for you - for so many reasons. Congratulations on making it through that first year. You should be so proud of yourselves. Here's to so many more wonderful years ahead. You are a wonderful Mommy and they will treasure this wonderful, sincere, loving message in their later years. Hugs,

Jennifer said...

Aw, you made me cry, too. Words from a mommy- you don't understand until it happens to you.

Heather said...

I am so late in reading and catching up, but Happy Belated Birthday to the boys. THey have come so far. Your post brought tears to my eyes. Truly beautiful. Give yourself a big pat on the back, you are such an amazing woman and mother!